" And they keep right on going! It makes me CRAZY.Ī. You told me already." And they go: "Right. " And you interrupt and say: "There was a scorpion in the broccoli. What's the deal with people who tell the same stories over and over and you can't stop them? Like they'll go, "One time, I was at this salad bar. Grammatorically, "advice" is a platonic depredation used in exculpatory phrases, as in: "My lawyer advices me that I don't know nothing about no grenade launcher." Whereas "advise" is used in all other cases, such as, "My advise is, stop taunting them constrictors." What is the difference between "advice" and "advise"?Ī. And when THAT happens, people, the terrorists will have won. Because if we let the coffee people get away with this they're not going to stop, and some day, just to get a lousy cup of coffee, you'll hear yourself saying, "I'll have a 'Mega Grandissimaximo Giganto de Humongo-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong decaf."' And then you will ask for the key to the AquaSwooshie. JUST SAY YOU WANT A LARGE COFFEE, PEOPLE. Listen, people: You should never, ever have to utter the words "Grande Supremo" unless you are addressing a tribal warlord who is holding you captive and threatening to burn you at the stake. Language Person watched in horror, many customers - seemingly intelligent, briefcase-toting adults - actually used this term, as in, "I'll take a 'Grande Supremo."' Language Person noticed that a Starbuck's competitor, Seattle's Best Coffee (which also uses "Tall" for small and "Grande" for medium) is calling its large size - get ready - "Grande Supremo." Yes. Recently, at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport and Death March, Mr. Why? If Starbucks decided to call its toilets "AquaSwooshies," would we go along with THAT? Yes! Baaa!īut it's getting worse. Unfortunately, we consumers, like moron sheep, started actually USING these names. As you know, this trend began several years ago when Starbucks decided to call its cup sizes "Tall" (meaning "not tall," or "small"), "Grande" (meaning "medium") and "Venti" (meaning, for all we know, "weasel snot"). We begin with a disturbing escalation in the trend of coffee retailers giving stupid names to cup sizes. Language Person," the only grammar column mentioned by name in the Bible, as well as the official grammar column of the American Association of English Teachers in the Staff Lounge Counting the Days Until Retirement. MIAMI - Join us now for another rendition of "Ask Mr.
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